Pat Paulsen for President

He’s back, and still better than all the rest.

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NEW CONTEST – Name Pat Paulsen’s Running Mate

March 29th, 2008 · 62 Comments

The Democrats are battling for a nominee (it’s getting nasty, folks!) and John McCain is searching for just the right running mate (you know there’s got to be much discussion among his staff to look for someone younger, perhaps a woman, certainly and individual with executive and economic skills). We think it’s time to focus on a Vice Presidential candidate to serve with Pat.

Because Pat’s supporters are so innovative and bright, as evidenced by the wonderful entries in the slogan contest, we’ve decided to leave the decision up to you, our loyal readers.

In the comment section below this post, name a person, living OR not, who will complement the ticket in Pat’s run for the highest office in the land. Make sure to indicate WHY you’ve made your choice. The winner of this contest will receive an original campaign poster from 1968, signed by Pat in 1996 (pictured below).

Good luck everyone!


Tags: News · Politics

62 responses so far ↓

  • 1 Kathryn Gallien // Mar 31, 2008 at 1:33 pm

    Generalissimo Francisco Franco, because he’s still dead.

  • 2 Joel Goodman // Mar 31, 2008 at 2:28 pm

    Pat Paulsen and Barack Obama, because it’s time we come to our senses with P.P. and B.O.

  • 3 Joel Goodman // Mar 31, 2008 at 2:28 pm

    Pat Paulsen and Hillary Clinton, because they are the true Comeback Kids!

  • 4 Joel Goodman // Mar 31, 2008 at 2:42 pm

    Pat Paulsen and John McCain…
    Salt of the Earth and Older Than Dirt

  • 5 Joel Goodman // Mar 31, 2008 at 2:43 pm

    Pat Paulsen and Patrick Henry…
    Give me liberty or give me… oh, never mind…

  • 6 Joel Goodman // Mar 31, 2008 at 2:45 pm

    Patrick Paulsen and Patrick Henry, because we need the luck of Saint Patricks in The White House

  • 7 Joel Goodman // Mar 31, 2008 at 2:52 pm

    Pat Paulsen and Julio Gallo, because it’s time to stop global wining

  • 8 Joel Goodman // Mar 31, 2008 at 2:53 pm

    Pat Paulsen and the Smothers Brothers, because Mom loved Pat best (and he wasn’t even in the family)

  • 9 Ray Richards // Apr 1, 2008 at 6:54 am

    Pat Paulsen and Will Rogers, two men who understand politics and what the country needs.

  • 10 June Davidson // Apr 1, 2008 at 8:35 am

    Anna Nichole Smith would make the ideal running mate. She is always in the news, would add a lot of oomph to the campaign. Is the woman who would bring in the all Male vote She has what it takes to drink and drug with the jet set and certainly has what it takes to capture the wealthy seniors.

  • 11 Joe Vecchio // Apr 1, 2008 at 11:49 am

    Pat Paulsen and Johnny Carson … Pat had great Sunday night appeal … Johnny ruled on the rest of the weeknights …

    No press conferences….just show re-runs

  • 12 Karissa Swenson // Apr 1, 2008 at 12:07 pm

    Pat Paulsen and Goofy, the Mayor-elected dog of Rabbit Hash, Kentucky. He won’t bark up the wrong tree.

  • 13 Dorothy Sciford // Apr 1, 2008 at 2:02 pm

    Rodney Dangerfield, for vice-president. Now he can get the respect he so richly deserves.

  • 14 Dean Tahtinen // Apr 1, 2008 at 5:14 pm

    Pat and Bobby Kennedy, “I may have called him ruthless, but now I’m willing to join the winning team.”

  • 15 Ray Holley // Apr 2, 2008 at 11:40 pm

    I note that of the 14 posts, 9 of them recommend running mates who share Pat’s relationship to a detectable heartbeat. In other words, they’re also dead. I have always admired Pat, especially since I had the privilege of visiting his museum at the Republic of Asti and was able to gaze upon the face of Marilyn Monroe which had appeared spontaneously in a plate of elbow macaroni. I also often quote him in the middle of tense meetings, citing his timeless slogan “We’ve upped our standards, now up yours.” It is in this spirit of respect and admiration that I offer myself as a possible running mate. I am more than willing to eat chicken dinners, kiss babies (especially those held by attractive young mothers), and tell lies. I think my regular heartbeat is an asset to the campaign, and I suggest as a possible slogan, “Paulsen and Holley, Your 2008 Folly!” or perhaps, “Paulsen-Holley, Only One of Them is Dead.” or even “Paulsen-Holley 2008, More Alive than McCain-Anyone.” Thank you for your consideration.

  • 16 Ken Albin // Apr 3, 2008 at 3:31 pm

    Hmmm…… After long deliberation I have the perfect running mate (other than myself, the obvious best choice here). Groucho Marx would be a perfect match. He was certainly an original thinker. I love one quote of his, “Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them… well, I have others.” Now who can argue with flexibility like that? As far as his policy of honesty in dealing with his fellow man, he said “The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.” Principled and honest to a fault. Now that is what a great V.P. should be!

  • 17 Kris Cole // Apr 6, 2008 at 4:11 pm

    The choice which leaps immediately to mind is Stephen Colbert, who’s own bid for the ’08 Republican nomination ran aground last year in South Carolina (unfortunately, his native state).

    Perhaps serving a term as VP to a man with more experience and political “legs,” is just what Stephen needs, while Pat could greatly benefit from a live (literally) advocate, able to get out there and stump Pat’s platform (mahogany, I believe it was?) while drumming up that independent vote.

    Yes, I believe I’ll bring this up at our next luncheon (Stephen, not Pat) during the May 1st Symposium on Global Cooling in GodthÃ¥b, Greenland.

  • 18 L. Long // Apr 7, 2008 at 3:27 pm

    Running mate : Elvis Presley
    “We may be six feet under.. but we can still get the popular vote!!”

    “We may be six feet under…but we’re still more popular than GWB”

  • 19 Steve Butt // Apr 10, 2008 at 11:10 am

    Jackie Mason.

    However – rumour has it he may or may not be a Jew. It is difficult to tell from listening to him.
    I think the the Jewish Question would of course halve to be addressed before he was picked. Maybe he could convert.
    I realize he isn’t dead, like Pat, but that gives him room to expand his horizons.
    And if he is willing to convert, if needs be, perhaps he could become a woman (Jackie could be a Guy, Goy or Girl) – that covers the gender issue.
    Jackie use some skin darkening- not too dark, if you please – maybe a few lengthy tanning sessions.
    Put on a few pounds too.
    Get a solid middle class standing.
    Take up bowling.
    Learn Spanish and Chinese.
    What a running mate – Pat would be a shoe-in.

  • 20 Steve Butt // Apr 10, 2008 at 11:37 am

    Mel Brooks.
    1.] Mel Brooks, The Vice President of the United States.
    2.] Vice President of the United States, Mel Brooks.
    3.] The Veep, Mel Brooks.
    4.] Mel Brooks, Vice President, Next in line to be Master of All He Surveys, pretender to the office of the once most powerful govenment official in the soon-to-be civilized world.
    If Mel were VP he could skim lotsa taxpayer’s geld and spend oodles of time (VP’s have all kinds of that) and make some more cinematic masterpieces.
    I think Mel Brooks is well over-due to make a massive pirate epic, an eye-choking glitzy gala. Spread the word.
    The government would run itself with Pat in charge, like a well-oiled machine.
    There would be nothing for us to do but “Eat, Sleep and Live off the Fat of the Land!”

  • 21 Nancy // Apr 11, 2008 at 6:16 pm

    Ethel Merman would be a perfect complement for Pat. Not only is she a gutsy female, she could outmouth and outbelt anyone else in the debate.

  • 22 Rick Kohlman // Apr 14, 2008 at 10:29 pm

    Tiny Tim,as V.P..We could all tip toe threw the recession together!(WWPD,what would Pat do?)

  • 23 Judy // Apr 18, 2008 at 9:44 am

    Pat Paulsen & Jamie Lee Curtis – both have (had) good heads on their shoulders and use old-fashioned common sense. Remember Paulsen’s jib about gun control? It wasn’t the guns that killed, but the bullets.

  • 24 Ted Mallory // Apr 18, 2008 at 3:17 pm

    Barry Goldwater, because if he saw what’s happened to today’s Republican party, he’d be rolling in his grave!

  • 25 Ted Mallory // Apr 18, 2008 at 3:20 pm

    Joel Wash, because he wrote that song, “Vote for me; I want to be Vice President.”

    Or how about Hunter S. Thompson or Frank Zappa, they’re both dead.

    Or maybe best of all, Jimmy Buffett- call it a concession, since he’s been running for president too, like a “Dream Team.”

  • 26 Ted Mallory // Apr 18, 2008 at 3:22 pm

    I’d like to see Jackie Mason and Dean Martin run together, they were great as the ‘Ant and the Aardvark’ on the old Pink Panther show.

    I’m all for that Jamie Lee Curtis thing, but she’d make a good President too. I guess the question there is, who gets to be on top? (woo hoo!!)

  • 27 Les Vilda // Apr 25, 2008 at 5:42 pm

    I think that I, Les Vilda, would make an interesting choice (at least) as Pat’s Vice-President.
    Until now, I’ve been running in competition with Pat for the office of President. Should I be selected as Pat’s running mate, I would be willing to change my party affiliation from the B.E.E.R. Party to the S.T.A.G. Party. I believe our individual, and Parties’, views and goals compliment each other tremendously.
    Currently, I’ve been asking my campaign supporters to “Vote Early, Vote Often, Vote More For Les!”. Should Pat and I join forces, we would need to re-think this voting strategy – or at least the wording of it. A small hurdle to overcome when looking at the ‘big picture’.
    My Mobile Campaign Headquarters and Mobile Oval Office (see photos on my website: ) are always kept in constant readiness and, should I be selected as Pat’s running mate, would be available for the S.T.A.G. Party to use at any time.
    Why would I be willing to do all this? Desire! Is it the desire to lead? Is it the desire for power? Is it the desire for world peace? No. It’s the desire for money. I’m only in this for the money. This would be the best paying gig I’ve ever had. And I’m thinking that Vice President doesn’t pay that much less than President. I’d be quite content with that.
    I would also be willing to share my B.E.E.R. Party campaign slogan: “Get More With Les – Because You Couldn’t Do Any Worse!”. It could read: “Paulsen and Vilda – Because you couldn’t do any worse!”.
    Thank you for your consideration. See you at the polls.

  • 28 Leo E. Oliva // Apr 29, 2008 at 1:24 pm

    I strongly support Les Vilda for V-P. He did promised me a spot in the Dept. of Agriculture (inspecting beer and wine), and I would hope this will still be considered if Les becomes V-P. I’ve known Les for many years, we are fellow decendants from the Czech Republic, and he will make a super V-P. Check out his web site.

  • 29 Nan // Apr 29, 2008 at 3:10 pm

    I intend to vote for Les Vilda because I couldn’t do any worse. He is a friend and he might give me a job.

  • 30 Mark R // Apr 29, 2008 at 5:26 pm

    I vote Les Vilda cuz he is the only candidate that I know that can’t be bought and no one has their hands in his pockets — cuz I don’t think he has any pockets! His Presidential slogan is absolutly correct “You get More with LES!” He should be running as a independent but I will settle for him being VP! And the way he lives his daily life, financially wise, just think of the example he will be for young minds…the “me” generation will be extinct! The “get by ” generation will be the new wave!

  • 31 Kathy G. // Apr 30, 2008 at 12:35 pm

    I vote for Les Vilda looks like the only live one you have and has enough gumption to promote himself besides I know him and he needs the money

  • 32 Dave T. // Apr 30, 2008 at 11:34 pm

    I have read all the submissions to date, and I believe I will have to cast my vote for Les Vilda. Every polititian is only in it “for the money”, but Les is the only one I have ever heard admit it! Besides, my buddy Tim knows him and assures me that, as promised, I will indeed get more with Les, and couldn’t do any worse.
    The other issue is that since I quit drinking a couple of years back, I felt a little hypocritical supporting the b.e.e.r. party – but I feel I could really get behind the s.t.a.g. party with no such reservations. Besides, Les rides a donkey. Truly a “green” vehicle since it is capable of producing it’s own methane. How much more energy independent can you get?

  • 33 Bob Mumie // May 1, 2008 at 1:14 am

    Stephen Colbert would be the perfect running mate for Pat. I think in an odd way Stephen is different yet inspired by Pat. He is this generations political comic relief and has already thrown his hat into the ring…every chance he gets. It just keeps getting thrown back. “Over and Under in 2008” – How can you go wrong?

  • 34 Bob Mumie // May 1, 2008 at 1:20 am

    I should have added that there is a 99.9% that Stephen Colbert would jump at and run with the opportunity if asked.

  • 35 RacerReady // May 1, 2008 at 3:53 am

    In the tradition recognizing the appeal of 1960’s TV stars with the babyboomer generation and change needed for female representation in the executive branch , I nominate….(drumroll) …. Goldie Hawn.

  • 36 kevin t // May 2, 2008 at 3:32 pm

    I feel I need to jump on the Les Vilda for VP band wagon. I can see the swelling of support for the man and if he wants his piece of the pie then so do I. (His mascot is a bear with deer antlers – BEER) You can’t go wrong when Les is more!

  • 37 Jon Z. // May 7, 2008 at 8:37 am

    I can think of no better vp than Les. We all want to get more for Les, and we can! “Les, Les he’s our guy, if you don’t vote for Les you might get poked in the eye! Go Les!”

  • 38 William McClellan // Jun 8, 2008 at 5:58 pm

    In Pat’s tradition of breaking with tradition, I humbly nominate not a he or a she; but rather, a they. Given the current politcial situation, I think Pat would seriously consider my nomination. With great humility, I nominate the singing group, Three Dog Night for VP on the Pat Paulsen For President in 2008 ticket. Given the current domestic stituation in
    this country, how could Pat and they not bring
    us one of our most heartfelt desires to fruition;
    as opposed to the Kool Aid we are currently being served from both parties – Gag me. So, for all of us who don’t drink the Kool aid any more, I humbly nominate Three Dog Night for VP: “And now at last we plainly see
    We’ll have a dance of liberty
    The world is black
    The world is white
    It turns by day and then by night
    The child is black
    The child is white
    The whole world looks upon the sight
    The beautiful sight”
    For our young voters, who haven’t heard this
    landmark song or lived through the utter disgrace of racism, please log onto to hear the song. I have no association to this site.

  • 39 carol williams // Jun 9, 2008 at 7:26 pm

    I nominate Ben Franklin. Think of the GRAVITAS, the charm, the curiosity,the worldliness of this fellow, and the wisdom he is likely to lend the ticket. And think of his being in the position of answering the phone at 3 AM. Requiescat in pace,both of you ; You’re ten times better than what we have, now.

  • 40 larry // Jul 3, 2008 at 12:41 pm

    It should be Colbert… He would probably give it airtime in his “who is praising me now” segment.

    Or go with Jesus Christ… He would bring in the religous right vote. He was a Jew so the jewish vote would be there. He looked like a hippy so you get the long-hair vote. Like Obama, he was half white and the other half devine. He could provide wine for the after election parties. Like Bush, his father has some pull in high places. And he could raise Pat back from the beyond.

  • 41 lynne e. // Jul 19, 2008 at 12:53 pm

    HARVEY THE POOKA would be a great vice president… only those who truely believe would see him and he always seems to be very wise when i watch the movie. on the campaign trail, upkeep of a 6′ invisible rabbit would not put a huge dent in the campaign budget because security issues are nonexistant and pookas do not seem to eat much, they just enjoy sitting down over a drink every now and then to listen to what people have to say. ..also, pat and harvey would look great together since both of them are 6′ + tall.. none of that laurel and hardy comedic image and stuff… `hiccup’… ermm.. i better stop now while i’m ahead.

  • 42 Scott R. // Jul 20, 2008 at 4:17 pm

    How about John Lennon for vp? Okay, so he’s a “foreigner,” but isn’t time to give peace a chance? And their slogan could be “Give Pat a chance.” Or “All you need is Pat.”

  • 43 Paul Wiele // Jul 26, 2008 at 12:21 am

    I’ve got to go with George Carlin. As a fellow dead comedian, they’d find a lot of common (under)ground to fight for. And as a proud and lifelong non-voter, Carlin would help clinch the large and vital “don’t care” demographic.

  • 44 Leslie Bissell // Aug 21, 2008 at 7:54 am

    George Carlin is the slamdunk obvious choice.
    Nothing more needs to be said.

  • 45 J. M. Cornwell // Aug 22, 2008 at 12:14 pm

    Pat Paulsen (for whom I’ve voted through the last four elections) and Ross Perot (Let’s keep him where we can see him and where he can do no harm)

  • 46 big ed // Sep 11, 2008 at 6:02 pm

    Pat Paulsen and running mate Hobo Kelly.

    Hobo Kelly would make a great VP she obviously female, wears lipstick, and has some great deterants in her bag of goodies. She can use her looking glass that she uses to locate those birthday gifts for the masses and look for the WMD’s with it. Maybe she can find others like Bin Ladin.

    A better team for the country.

  • 47 M Sabaj // Sep 12, 2008 at 11:40 am

    Pat’s perfect running mate: Michelle Obama. Think about it!

  • 48 Peggy // Nov 2, 2008 at 8:52 pm

    The Vice President becomes President if the President dies. Since Pat Paulsen is already dead we don’t need for him to have a VP. I believe he can get enough followers in the present political atmosphere to take it on his own.

    You Can’t Keep A Good Man Down.

  • 49 Shain // Nov 16, 2008 at 1:07 am

    Pat and Mediocre Fred “Proud to Be Humble!”

  • 50 Alex-Sandra Molina(cousin to Smothers Brothers, but they don't know it yet) // Jul 12, 2009 at 11:00 pm

    Pat and Sarah Palin, she’s willing to campaigne for the Democrats, she’s resigned as Gov. of Alaska, John McCain not needing her at present,and she can whop some political butt!

  • 51 Steve Harper // Jul 6, 2010 at 3:59 am

    I suggest myself for Vice-President in 2012. I can promote the campaign from my website ( I have foreign policy experience because I have listeners in other countries (check out my loyal listener map at the website). I have broad appeal across the United States because I have listeners across the country (did I mention “Loyal Listener Map”?). Let’s try a new strategy: focus on one place and work out from there – Pacific County, WA. I grew up in Raymond, WA which is right next door to South Bend (Pat’s usually listed place of birth) and not far from North Cove (The place Pat said he was born on the Half A Comedy Hour). Most importantly, I am even less qualified than Pat. Give Americans what they want most – Dead Presidents!

  • 52 C + T // Oct 7, 2010 at 4:45 pm

    Paul Patsen

    Self explanatory. *nods*


  • 53 William Sheets // Jul 27, 2011 at 12:52 pm

    I submit Christopher Walken for Pat’s running mate, simply so the campaign slogan can be “Dead Man…Walken.”

  • 54 RM Dorer // Nov 28, 2011 at 11:45 pm

    I nominate TOMMY SMOTHERS as running mate for Pat OR Monty in 2012.

  • 55 Claudia // Jan 1, 2012 at 11:32 am

    Phyllis Diller for Pat’s running mate.
    Campaign slogan: Boy, do you have the wrong number!

  • 56 Scott Boggs // May 12, 2012 at 2:08 am

    John Travolta for Veep

  • 57 C.D. // Sep 16, 2012 at 1:17 pm

    Flip Wilson.
    Air Force veteran, stand up (comic) guy.
    Also had the best greeting routine.

  • 58 Sparky // Apr 21, 2013 at 1:42 am

    Pat for Prez / Carlin as Veep

  • 59 Frederick Woods // Apr 30, 2013 at 6:31 pm

    Mr. Paulsen’s V.P. running mate (alive or not) should’ve been Chief Dan George, as the Chief (in Outlaw Josey Wales) promoted sage advice of: “Endeavor to Persevere”. Pat & Chief Dan, 2 true Americans, thank-you.

  • 60 Frederick Woods // Apr 30, 2013 at 6:41 pm

    …and because Mr. Paulsen & Chief Dan George actually LOOKED ALIKE! (except for length of hair). I miss Pat so much, & I’m glad I found a place here with others feeling the same maybe, thanks.

  • 61 Foggy // Jun 4, 2014 at 8:54 pm

    Running mate? George Carlin, totally. 🙂

  • 62 Gregory Rist // Jul 21, 2015 at 8:06 pm

    I formally Nominate from the Great state of California …. The most Honorable Washington Howard for Vice President ! A little known brother of The Three Stooges . His likeness is to found by taking a pre 77 Dollar Bill and a pre 77 five Dollar Bill folding them in half , using the Dollar Bill on Top and the five Dollar Bill on the bottom , lining their noses together . Voila ! you have a perfect likeness of the future Veep 😉

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