Pat Paulsen for President

He’s back, and still better than all the rest.

Pat Paulsen for President header image 2


January 18th, 2008 · 7 Comments

Social Security…..“Why should old people get it? They just sit around all day doing nothing.”  4-19

Middle Class…..“What middle class? There’s only seven people left in the middle class – who cares about them? 4-12

National Debt…..“Let the kids pay it – they still owe us rent and gas money.” 4-05

The Future…..“Worrying about the future is a thing of the past. I don’t think about it.” 3-29

Foreign Aid….“We should ask every country in the world to send us whatever they can.” 3-22

Same Sex Marriages….“I’m for them. They will cut down on overcrowding in the schools.” 3-15

Pat on Education….“Every child has a right to go to high school and end up with a third grade education.” 3-08

Pat on taxes….“No Taxes. Let’s just tip the government 15% if they do a good job.” 3-01

Pat on prayer in the schools….“Kids should be able to go to school and pray they won’t get shot.” 2-23

Pat on his running mate….“Many of you have asked why it’s taken me so long to select a running mate. I have no intention of reaching into the political grab bag and grabbing any man to be my running mate. I’m going to reach in and grab a woman!” 2-16

Pat on drugs….“They said I ignored the drug problem. Well, I gave speeches on drugs, I wrote books on drugs…..I did darn near everything on drugs!” 2-09

Pat on his motivation…. “I’m often asked why I travel around the country talking politics. Is it for humanitarian reasons, community spirit, or is it for the money, the limosines or the girls? The answers are: no, no, yes yes yes!” 2-o1

Pat on honesty in politics….”I must choose my words carefully in order to avoid any negative interpretation. Among politicians, this is a tactic known as lying.” 1-18

Pat on Immigration….”I don’t want to say too much about illegal immigration. I’m afraid my views will be reported on the Cinco O’Clock News”. 1-11

Pat on the current candidates…Obama? Huckabee? Guiliani? Romney? Kucinich? “Whatever happened to the Washingtons, the Jeffersons, and the Johnsons? ….. Well, they’re playing basketball, most of ’em”. 1-04

Tags: Comedy · Politics · Quotes of the Week

7 responses so far ↓

  • 1 Vic Sutton // Jan 6, 2008 at 5:59 pm

    Hillary – Obama – the Huck man – McCain …They’ll privately vote for Pat in the sun or the Rain…Romney- Kucinich – Guiliani….will eat their Spinach…and then follow the Leader…Yes, they all stand for Pat

  • 2 Lyle Bauer // Jan 14, 2008 at 8:03 pm

    We can stand pat on this one. We’ll have to.

  • 3 Joey Donovan // Feb 10, 2008 at 10:40 pm

    He has my vote- early and often!

  • 4 R.W. // Jun 7, 2008 at 12:38 pm

    Come on McCain, heres the guy that can get you elected.

    McCain/Paulson 08

    In four years; we plan to leave you laughing. 🙂

  • 5 carol williams // Jun 12, 2008 at 8:36 am

    Pat on the Senate: Are they all millionaires?
    Well, if they aren’t when they are first elected, they will become millionaires within a short time.
    This appears to be their right, along with the right to be happily
    doing what other people want you to do because they want (pay) you to do it.

  • 6 Jim // Sep 21, 2008 at 10:42 am

    On the Threat of Iran: I for one am not afraid of them. If we can get them to give us enough oil, we will defeat them

  • 7 David // Mar 12, 2009 at 10:31 am

    Pat on politicians who refuse to release their medical records: You wanna know why they don’t wanna release the records? Well, here’s a hint: Their spines are as yellow as school buses!

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