Pat Paulsen for President

He’s back, and still better than all the rest.

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September 20th, 2008 · 36 Comments

Looks like Pat’s son, Monty Paulsen, is gearing up for a 2012 run for the White House. Here he hits the campaign trail to find the pulse of American voters.

Tags: Comedy · News · Politics

36 responses so far ↓

  • 1 Jill Giguere Kahn // Sep 22, 2008 at 6:32 pm


  • 2 Ken Albin // Sep 25, 2008 at 4:56 pm

    Go Monty, go!!! Pat would be proud of you carrying on the grand tradition. You have my full support. Lord knows, we need someone in there with a sense of humor for a change!

  • 3 Pete Paulson // Oct 26, 2008 at 12:33 pm

    Go for it the Paulson’s in Canada suport you

  • 4 Leigh Ann // Oct 29, 2008 at 12:23 am

    You can count on my undying support and an occasional meager donation.

  • 5 Maggie Strasser // Nov 4, 2008 at 9:04 pm

    I am Praying that whoever wins in 2008 will be guided in the next 4 years by Pat’s vision and wisdom for our Country.

    We already have a Lincoln Bedroom, perhaps the White House should dedicate a bathroom in Pat’s name. The President could use it as a “meditation room”, to await Pat’s answer to any problem he has. Out with the old, in with the

    God bless Pat & the entire Paulsen Family!!

  • 6 Ann Wise // Dec 15, 2009 at 8:20 pm

    I had the wonderful opportunity to perform with your father in 1971 @ Cherry County Playhouse prior to his ownership. It was an experience that will forever make me laugh out loud. He was a true icon of comedy and I miss him.

  • 7 Walter Knight // Jan 10, 2010 at 3:36 am


    Walter Knight, humorous science fiction writer of 11 novel series Americ’s Galactic Foreign Legion wants to be your Vice Presidental running mate, but only if you give me a book review. Otherswise, up yours. I love yuo man.

  • 8 Walter Knight // Jan 10, 2010 at 3:46 am

    Humor is a difficult thing.

  • 9 molly camp // Feb 1, 2010 at 1:23 pm

    After meeting Pat’s wife, I am more than eager to learn about Monty Paulson and his political views, goals and committments to the future of the United States of America.

  • 10 Rick Galliani // Mar 2, 2010 at 4:52 pm


    Glad to see that you and your father are going to go for the White House in 2012. You have the support of “Cavemen” all over America!

  • 11 Walter Knight // Mar 23, 2010 at 9:00 am

    Walter Knight, author of America’s Galactic Foreign Legion, and the favored potential running mate for Monty, says, “We need a Middle of the Bird Party to take back America.” While on a listening tour of Malibu, Walter told reporters, “I promise to roll down the windows of my air conditioned limmo so I can make like one of the people. Free Tibet and save most of the whales. I’m from the other Washington, so I feel your rain.”

  • 12 Walter Knight // Jul 8, 2010 at 10:06 am

    Walter Knight, world famous science fiction writer, author of America’s Galactic Foreign Legion, and favored running mate for Monty Paulsen’s Middle of the Bird Party in 2012, was asked while on a listening tour of North Las Vegas, if he really believed in UFO’s and alien abductions.

    Walter answered, “Tales of alien enounters are true. And by true, I mean false. It’s all lies. But, they’re entertaining lies. And, in the end, isn’t that the real truth? The answer is no. Right?

  • 13 Don B. // Oct 10, 2010 at 12:29 pm


  • 14 Steve H // Nov 17, 2010 at 2:34 pm

    I still recall to this day Pat’s skill to his craft while watching the smothers brothers at age 14! Pat wouldnt stand for a minute in regard to what’s going on in Washington. We miss his unwavering ability to set the right course and tone for the voting public. Jon Stewart et al have much to owe to Pat.

  • 15 Darren // Jan 20, 2011 at 7:23 pm

    Go for it Monty! As one of your former roommates in the 1980s, I have complete faith in you. Go ahead on!
    Monty Paulsen in 2012. That’s the ticket I figure.

  • 16 Walter Knight // Jan 25, 2011 at 9:13 pm

    Walter Knight, while on a listening tour of Reno, Nv., was asked where he thought Monty’s campaign headquarters should be located.

    “Chicago is my first choice, followed closely by El Segundo,” replied Water, as he hit a jackpot. “Or, Reno would be great, too! We need to bring slot machines to the Other Washington.”

  • 17 Walter Knight // Jan 25, 2011 at 9:32 pm

    Walter Knight, world famous science fiction writer and leading Vice Presidential candidate for Monty Paulsen’s Middle of the Bird Party, while on a listening tour of Compton, California, was asked about their party platform. He supported the following:

    No big government until I get there.

    Reduce unemployment by sending people to Mars.

    Fill potholes with podheads.

    There is nothing to fear but fear itslef, and fear of the voices telling me to do things.

    Children are the future. That is why we need to stop them now. Round the all up and put them in Hillery’s villiage.

    I will legalize hunting Mother’s-in-laws.

    I promise fewer nuclear disasters.

    Repeal all taxes, make Sweeden pay for everything.

  • 18 Walter Knight // Jan 25, 2011 at 11:04 pm

    While on a ‘Listening to the Gunshots Tour of Detroit’ leading Middle of the Bird Vice Presidential candidate Walter Knight was advised by reporters of recent a Gallop Poll showing that if the election were held today between Poulsen / Romney / Obama, that Monty Paulsen would easily win 84 / 43 / 42 percent.

    “I am shocked and appalled that Mitt and Barack of narrowed the margin so quickly. I blame the Fox News Nework for not being fair and balanced. Do the math: We are going to buy this thing no matter how Florida or Massachusetts votes.”

  • 19 Walter Knight // Feb 2, 2011 at 1:25 pm

    After hearing that Chicago Walter Knight’s first choice for Monte Paulsen’s Middle of the Bird Party, President Obama switched his choice to today to Charlotte, North Carolina, fearing a head to head battle similar to what Monte’s dad had with Hubert Humphrey years ago.

    “The major parties are scared,” advised Middle of the Bird Vice Presidential canditate Walter Knight, while on a listening tour of the Windy City. “We think we can get a lot of votes from Chicago. Chicago has a great tradition of voter participation that will work in our favor.”

  • 20 Walter Knight // May 31, 2011 at 9:45 am

    BREAKING NEWS: Reporters asked Vice Presidential candidate Walter Knight (Middle of the Bird Party) his reaction to the death of Bin Laden.

    “Seal Team #6 fired a warning shot to the head. Good job.”

  • 21 Walter Knight // Aug 17, 2011 at 9:51 am

    Middle of the Bird Party Vice Presidential candidate Walter Knight while on a listening tour of National City, California, was asked by reporters about the economy.

    Walter replied that the economy is so bad illegal aliens are being busted sneaking back into Mexico.

    The exomony is so bad the CEO of Walmart was spotted shopping at Walmart.

    The economy is so bad people are getting pre-declined credit card offers in the mail.

    The economy is so bad Snoop Dogg now eats regular brownies.

    “It’s a travisty,” said Walter Knight. “Did you see how much weight Mr. Dogg has lost?”

  • 22 Walter Knight // Aug 25, 2011 at 10:30 am

    World famous science fiction author and vice-presidential candidate Walter Knight (Middle of the Bird Party) while on a listening tour of party town Tempe, Arizona, was asked by reporters about a report his “America’s Galactic Foreign Legion” series being banned in China.

    Walter replied, “If so, then ‘America’s Galactic Foreign Legion’ and Lady Gaga are in good company.”

  • 23 Walter Knight // Oct 12, 2011 at 5:27 pm

    Walter Knight, while on a listening tour of the Sunshine State, was asked by reporters to comment about the Republican debate.

    “I too promise a $9.99 pizza in every American kitchen, except mine will be with extra cheese. Ha! top that!”

  • 24 Walter Knight // Jan 15, 2012 at 8:27 am

    Now that the primary season is in full swing, Walter Knight’s super PAC is gearing up to make the world famous science fiction writer competative in all 57 states.

    “Walter Knight is coming to a theater near you, and to the United States of South Carolina.”

  • 25 cheryl // Jan 26, 2012 at 12:48 pm

    monty,where can I contribute for 2012????

  • 26 Valerie May // Apr 19, 2012 at 1:57 pm

    Hey there Monty ~~ We support you over here in the North Bay 100 thousand %. Hooray for all Paulsens! xoxo Valerie & Stevie

  • 27 Jennifer // Sep 3, 2012 at 10:13 am

    I am only 26 years old, but my parents have been introducing me to Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour over the past year… After the episode I watched last night, I think it’s more important than ever to have some *true* absurdity show its face during this years election (although there’s already plenty flying around being passed off as legitimate politics). Sites like The Onion have amazing satire, but they’re easy to be ignored.

    You need to run because the media surrounding a campaign is almost impossible to ignore. Hell, better yet, Pat Paulsen for President in memoriem, Monty Paulsen VP 2012. I’d vote for a dead man to prove a point.

    I am anxiously awaiting your names on the ballot.

  • 28 Walter Knight // Sep 10, 2012 at 8:56 pm

    The major candidates are afraid to include Monty in the upcoming Presidential debates, fearing what his dad did to Hubert Humphry back in the day. However, Monty Paulsen will continue to shadow both candidates somewhere to the left, right, and middle of the bird.

  • 29 Walter Knight // Sep 10, 2012 at 9:08 pm

    When asked about the Creationism issue, V.P.Candidate Walter Knight answered, “Creationism insists there were no cavemen. I’m good with that because their drawings suck and they look like hippies.”

  • 30 ANGELO // Oct 4, 2012 at 9:07 pm

    Sorry Monty, but I’m voting for your Dad. I’m from Missouri and we voted in a dead guy for senator in 2000 (Mel Carnahan), so dad has a fighting chance in our state. It’s that Midwestern sensibility.

  • 31 Jeff Cooper // Oct 10, 2012 at 4:22 pm

    a facebook friend bemoaned the incessant calls she gets asking her who she is voting for this election. i told her next time to tell them Pat Paulsen.

  • 32 Walter Knight // Oct 16, 2012 at 10:17 am

    Joe Biden making faces at Paul Ryan during their Vice-Presidential debate was so appauling that I called Mitt Romney and asked that Joe be fired.

  • 33 Walter Knight // Oct 26, 2012 at 6:28 pm

    Don’t forget to vote. Don’t have ID? You don’t need no stinking ID.

    It’s a free country. Even the dead have the right to vote as many times as they want.

  • 34 Walter Knight // Oct 30, 2012 at 10:04 am

    Just before the election, Monty Paulsen has gone missing, possibly sucked up by and a casualty of the Superstorm. He was last seen at Trump Tower seeking high ground, but Donald denies seeing Monty.

    If Secret Service protection hadn’t been denied, this tragidy never would have happened.

  • 35 Walter Knight // Nov 4, 2012 at 7:46 pm

    I demand a recount.

  • 36 Walter Knight // Jan 8, 2013 at 6:34 pm

    The 2016 election is coming soon.

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